Sunday Thoughts

I’ve always done things my way. I’ve always sang the songs I wanted to sing. I’ve always listened to whatever I wanted to listen to.

To be honest, I was never a hundred percent totally independent. There will be occasional influences from my surroundings that whisper sweet words which I’ve fallen for but they were not lies though.

"Cool dudes don't listen to Mandy Moore and radio", they'd say.

I hate stereotyping. I love music. Period. Who ever said that someone who listens to The Used can’t listen to Mandy Moore or even Diana Krall?

Fade Out

I can’t be any happier. I don’t have to go back to that place that I dread going to so much. This is the last of it, at least for now. If you really want to know where this place is, feel free to ask… I may feel like leaking that little bit.

For now, there’ll be a new place to dread, at least until the next week.

No, it’s not negative after all. Don’t get me wrong. Too much noise just hurts, you know?

Oh, there are a few gigs lined up and I just can’t wait till the practices start. I will post the gig details as soon as they are finalized.

*Fingers Crossed*

This is by far the most honest post.


If I were to write about how I feel today, I’d just easily summarize it with Between Symphonies And White Noise which I posted some time back. Read it and you’ll know that I went to the same place again today.

Currently listening to Nina Ferro – The Very Thought Of You. With eyes closed, I can picture myself in my sixties, in a black and white movie, listening to jazz tunes on vinyls from the gramophone, slight drizzle out the window, warm and calm in the cozy living room with my wife by my side.

On another note, writing biographies are difficult. It’s been nine months now since I embarked on a journey to write me a bio and I’m still left with Zilch. Writing about myself seems like I’m self centered and full of myself. I’d rather someone write one up for me. Anyone?

Slow Motion Silent Film

There is only this much that a picture can contain. Clicking on the pictures, ignoring the slideshow function, I let the pictures play back the memories in my mind like a slow motion silent film.

Isn’t it a little odd how one can listen to jazz one minute and turn to emo / screamo the next? Story Of The Year’s Sidewalks is playing as I type this, so up-front almost taking the wheel, steering my thoughts away.

Now is a time for reflection. I sit here patiently, staring into the blank and the white.

The thoughts slowly arranging themselves like pieces of a huge jigsaw puzzle forming the big picture. The memories now play back with black and white echoes of laughter, silent tears, secret intentions and plain feelings of awe. It’s funny how we store our memories. It’s also funny how pictures and songs stir up so much emotion. They say that music brings back forgotten memories, but I say that forgotten memories bring us songs.

Beauty. Such an abstract word - so much so that the word itself is beautiful beyond words.

Thinking about those almost-forgotten memories puts a smile on my face.



It's amazing how those hands could dance around that familiar face making trips in circular motion obeying the pendulum so fast.

It’s about time I introduce you to this little space at where you can download some demo recordings of mine. Have a listen to them and leave me some feedback. It will be great to hear from you.

Looking Through The Window


Whoever said that aiming for the clouds is impossible?

Window seat, anyone?


This is dedicated to D, Chino, Fumi and Ian.

The Harshness Of Highs

You must be wondering what the title is all about.

Simple, there’s nothing mind boggling about it. “Highs” is an abbreviation or rather an audio term for high frequency.

Sound is just too subjective and that’s the beauty of it. A sound can be bright or dark, sharp or flat, boxy or rounded, you name it. There’s no specific way to describe sound.

There is also no way that two people have identical hearing senses. It’s just like no two people have identical thumb prints. Check out all your friend’s hi-fi and car audio systems. All their EQ settings are different.

This brings me back all the way to semester one: Foundations Of Sound.

Different ears are sensitive to different frequencies.

But here is one that we can all agree upon, despite the subjective nature of sound.

Boost all the high frequencies from 12 kHz to 16 kHz on your Winamp and you’ll know what the title is all about. (Make sure your speakers aren't too loud. I won't be responsible for any hearing loss)

Excessive high frequencies in a mix or played out on a sound system can be painful. Don’t blow your ears out.


I wonder what’s really happening to the Malaysian music scene. What about the indie scene? What about the English indie scene?

There have been many revelations throughout this journey. Let’s see here…

They say that money is not everything, but let’s see how they’d survive without it. The rich is getting richer by the day and the poor is getting poorer by the day. So what’s this nonsense about money and music? What’s the connection?

Think about it. Is music all about art and true self expression? Or is it really all about the money? Well, it depends on who you’re talking to.

There are a million and one teenagers out there aspiring to be musicians. Why? To be rich and famous, they’d say.

Then, you’d have the indie musician that plays his/her heart out passionately for what? Spare change.

To the guy who wears a suit and tie, music is merely a product which is packaged, sweetened with saccharine and cleverly sold to the mass like a sugar coated poison apple.

Radio is poisoning our minds with manufactured mainstream in every form possible.

Real musicians don’t make money. I’m not saying that those that make the millions are phonies either. Don’t get me wrong. It’s just that they did the smart thing. They compromised.

It’s all an elaborate mind game really. A chess game perhaps and who are we, the mass? Pawns. Check!

These are just my thoughts. It is in no way to disrespect any of the parties mentioned above. I’m sincerely filled with admiration of the ones up there. It boggles my mind to juggle back and forth the two worlds. Psychologically, when one achieves self-actualization, that’s when he fully understands the entire ball-game and it becomes crystal clear.

Pawns Pt. II: The Game

Hang on a second. I didn’t say it was checkmate did I?

So here’s more.

Let’s talk about a game. Just like any other game, one would need to know the game, understand how it all works, the ins and outs of it, know the rules, master all the skill sets involved, learn the rules by heart and now, the best part, break all those rules. Innocence and ignorance can be a flaw here. Play it smart.

Like they all say, the Boy Scout’s eleventh rule, “A Boy Scout cheats wisely”.

There is always a way out of any situation. All we need is to think out of the box, look through the surrounding brick walls and learn.

There’s no harm acquiring knowledge. The more the merrier. Just be sure to use that little filter up in the head that The Creator graciously blessed us with.

It may seem like a catch 22, but it’s never checkmate!

Hold On

Good Charlotte's Hold On would probably be a meaningful song to many. Some may relate to it, some may love it, and some just let it play in the background. As for me, it saved me.

Questions To An Answer

They say that a picture is worth a thousand words. I say that this picture is a failure. It failed to even contain the slightest detail of this awe-worthy sight, in its entirety.

Ever looked at a sunset, wonder how awesome the colors disperse and watch the diffraction of the rays through the clouds? Ever wondered how awesome the creator of that beautiful, breath-taking scene is?

Ever wondered where music really came from? Ever wondered how incredible the overtones of various instruments could hit the right note in your soul and heart? Ever wondered what actually inspired human kind to communicate music? Ever wondered how soothing it is to listen to the tone of a wonderfully crafted acoustic guitar resonating against its fine wooden body?

There are just too many questions to think about and I reckon it’ll be an endless endeavor to pen them all down.

Look up to the stars and the universe. Who could have created all these?

Thinking of all these questions just points me to one conclusion.

This is the perfect craftsmanship and workmanship of the maestro of all maestros, God Almighty.

As Green As It Gets

Kims Kims

These were taken at Kim's studio when JM went in for a final touch up session before the songs were ready to be mastered. I bet you know what they are.

Currently Listening To: Greenday American Idiot

It's strange how they sound so familiar and yet so fresh at the same time. In all honesty, close an eye to the French Billie Joe uses and they have excellent songs, as always.

They have been one of my biggest influences since the day I picked up the guitar. I started out playing Greenday and Nirvana songs. In fact, watching these guys made me want to play the guitar in the first place.

I admire their song writing, just like I did when this kid in his teens bought his very first Dookie.

They've come a long way. I mean, piano in the tracks?

Have a go at it.

The Madness

"Please stop this madness?", I begged silently to myself.

I want to listen to my Greenday and Something For Kate.

Many say that the source of inspiration is scarce. No Sir, not for me at the moment. But no thanks to this madness, all the new ideas and inspiration are bottled up in little jars in my head, waiting to be opened and to take form as bursts of verses and choruses.

Let the madness begin...

12th And One

In between rapid eye motion, it all disappears. Where did the months, weeks and days go?

Between Symphonies And White Noise

There is a fine line between music and noise. Oh, no wait, what fine line? Isn't it as thick a line as a valley apart?

It's sad to know that the majority of people think that music is best served up either when the bass is cranked to maximum, subwoofers rattling the walls, resonating within its own cabinet housing the speaker cone causing the screws to loosen and fall apart and the bass drum drowns everything else or when the volume knob is turned to number 11 on a scale of 10 and the meters are going way beyond red as if trying to break out of the meter bridge.

What ever happened to balance? What ever happened to the quality and clarity of music?

All I hear is a mixture of bass, bass, mids and mids. Well, ok, I feel the 80Hz and I hear the congestion from 100Hz to 800Hz. Thank goodness the highs are not ear bleeding.

With a hundred outlets in your city mall not knowing what music really means and merely banking in on the sheer loudness of music to attract customers, this place has nothing to offer but noise.

Don't they even realize that that could be the very fact driving customers away?

Maybe all we need is a music appreciation lesson.

Eyes Widely Shut

Sound Effects And Overdramatics...The Used

One line speaks of a thousand unspeakable thoughts.

With eyes widely shut, I let it slowly slip. Seeing right through the box that is now staring back at me with glaring colours, various shades of earth tones and with all the effort from my side, I wander into the white, effortlessly.

Minutes passed. For a moment there, I thought I was somewhere else. Now, the tally light is back on the reality camera. Here we go again….

Home On Monday


It's funny how one can feel at home even if it's not your own. This is where I feel the entire palette of emotions over the passed movements of the ticking hands on that familiar face. I'm eternally thankful for the privilege to regard this place as one of my many homes.

At A Loss For Words

Prop open the door I can actually see my breath tonight
But that doesn't mean I'm breathing
Crack a smile just for the sake of it
This could take a while
A long while

Silence is golden especially in this case
I'm not too sure that I want it to be this way
Open mouth closed eyes
No words are escaping

It's all a blur
It's too dark to see

Ain't it pretty the way it all streaks together at night
I think its time to turn around
I really want to go home tonight
I feel like this is going nowhere

Try to think of something quick
And trust the direction of the driver

No lights
No signs
I'm at a loss for words

Now conversation sparks
What an easy way to break the ice

...Underoath - The Impact Of Reason

Just like Nicholas Sparks, these modern poets engrave these words ever so creatively into songs with such passion describing a particular scene with such detail.

What do you think?

This is dedicated to D...

The Night Before

The spotlights were bright, glaring my line of sight and the grass was wet from the downpour the night before. "Thank God I thought of the rain before hand and brought shelter for the gear last night", I thought. "They wouldn't have thought of it", I added to myself.

It was about right. "We're all set to go", yelled the producer. My hands were sweaty, trembling a little because of the sheer magnitude of the crowd behind me.

"The adrenalin is burning my stomach now. It's time", I mumbled to myself.

They hit their first chords, and what happened? Everything that one could ever imagined go wrong, went wrong.

Every detail was a blur after that.

What's the matter with you, were the last words I heard, haunting me and it kept ringing in my head till... itch in my back woke me up. describes the words nightmare as a dream arousing feelings of intense fear, horror, and distress, reverie as a state of abstracted musing, daydreaming and dream as a series of images, ideas, emotions, and sensations occurring involuntarily in the mind during certain stages of sleep.

Either way, the words nightmare, reverie and dream are somewhat similar being that they all happen in a state of a human being's unconsciousness, yet so different because of its diverse screenplays within. To me, the word nightmare is way too horrifying and the word reverie is more appropriate for something beautiful, say a sweet memory of a glorified sunset.

It wasn't all that horrible, it wasn't all that beautiful. It may have been just neutral with twists of its own.

So what did I really have? Just a dream, perhaps.

The Invisible Hands

You'll know what I mean when you click on the link. Trust me.
Edited: Apologies to Mac users. The link requires Windows Media Player.

That's just half the reason for title.

The Invisible Hands keep me steadily balanced on the tightrope and pick me up every single time I falter. I place all my trust in these Hands and that's the very reason I breathe the air I breathe.

All We Need Now Is The Spark

Nicholas Sparks is a phenomenal storyteller, this I must admit.

We all need a spark in our lives every once in a while. It could be in any context, be it song-writing or striking up a fresh idea for a literature review.

I wonder what it'll be like to condense an entire book into four minutes of music? Am I even thinking straight? They can't even transcribe details from the pages of words into a two hour movie feature. I could try?

It's like the colours of a black and white picture being more colourful and filled with more depth than a fully coloured picture.

"The stillness in the blank and the white"...Broken Scar

Oxtober Stix

Today will never be the same again.

Just look up and you shall be enlightened.

Today has not been too kind, musically, as bacteria has been hovering the top of my throat all day. Haven't gotten around working on the vocal parts for new songs. However, the guitar parts are falling into place, bit by bit.

Alternate tunings are simply awesome. This I owe it to both John Rzeznik and Az A. Samad. I've been writing some new tunes based on the DADGAD tuning. Love the sound of of strings ringing in sympathy with the entire open chord.

With all these different tunings, I'm gonna have a hard time tuning during gigs if I don't have more than one guitar. Anyone care to donate?

Time Of Year

Currently playing:

1. Melissa Tallon - 21
2. Diana Krall - The Girl In The Other Room
3. Keri Noble - Fearless
4. Shelley Leong - Storyteller
5. Killing Heidi - Killing Heidi

What I'm trying to say is that lately, I've been feeling a huge source of inspiration from the women above. Could it be a phase? Could it be a sign that I'm slowly getting used to the fact that listening to jazz or jazzy tunes isn't just for the forgotten era, the wrinkled and the old-folks home? Don't get me wrong, I'm not trying to spite the music. It's just that I never realised what I was missing all this while. Alright, Killing Heidi doesn't quite qualify as jazz, and the inspiration is more of the entire band, and not just the front-woman, Ella Hooper. Music is just in my veins, doesn't matter in what form.

Nevertheless, The Goo Goo Dolls will somehow always play the biggest role in feeding me and renewing my energy to write when a dry-spell is cast.

Let's see what will crop up in the months to come.

A Scratch In The Sand

At this moment, thoughts seem to be scattered all over, not knowing where to start. Pieces come together slowly in a form where imagination cannot even play out the picture, and suddenly they just disappear. Have I really started a blog?

Taking different turns and routes can be scary, especially during the initial steps. I'm ready now, to embark on this brand new journey.

Sounds of different sorts play in the background. I'm amazed by the heavy guitar riffs ever so aggressive, thunderous drums and haunting vocals of various depths, pitches and ranges. Still, I don't quite display my energy in that form. It's somewhat similiar to what I do, but not quite the same, genre wise.

What do I do? I'm a singer, a guitarist, and a songwriter. Some say that I'm an acoustic rocker, some say that I'm alternative. I spill my heart out when I write. I sing with eyes closed. I'm Broken Scar.

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    Who Is Broken Scar:

    Loves Jesus. Singer. Guitarist. Songwriter. Audio Engineer. Producer. Wears band t-shirts. Wears red t-shirts. Based in Melbourne.



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