I’ve got my grip back on things now. It’s still overwhelming to look ahead at the tasks that I have to complete but at least things are more manageable in my head now.

You know how some people have a fear of commitment when it comes to relationships? I don’t have that problem but I think I have something quite similar to that, feelings wise. I think I fear making official calls. Maybe it’s because I’m out of practice. I tend to think that official calls are supposed to be very formal but the person on the other end of the line won’t really know who I am anyway, so what am I so nervous about? I used to make around 50 official calls a day and now I’m chicken shit when I have to call up the medical centre to make an appointment for my medical check up.

I never had a problem in making an appointment with the doctor though, if I have a flu or fever. I’d just pick up the phone, make an appointment and go. Maybe the sound of a “medical check up” scares me. Maybe I’m afraid if the results show me that I’ve got some weird disease?

Maybe I’m afraid that the standard procedure requires a blood test. Blood tests scare the daylight out of me. I can’t the fact that they have to draw blood from you. It’s not the needle that I’m afraid of, it’s the blood. I almost died when I saw the nurse put those needles in my dad’s veins when he was in the hospital some time back.

So yeah, I get stressed up easily when it comes to the weirdest things. It runs in the family, I tell you. My dad doesn’t like going to banks because he feels that people might think he’s a robber. I mean, to us, it seems like the most irrational thing to think as he doesn’t even look like anything close to a robber but I guess it’s all in the mind and I understand how that feels like.

Oh well, despite all that drama, I still sorted everything out and I’ve got my appointment tomorrow. So I shall get me some shut eye now and be up fresh for the check up. The good thing is, according to the requirements listed on the medical centres website, they do not require a blood test. Fingers crossed!

What are your fears? I told you mine, now it’s your turn.

Broken Scar's album, Midnight In St. Kilda is available on

5 Responses to “Nerves”

  1. # Blogger su-ann

    writer's block freaks me out. roaches too. and my biggest fear? incompetancy.  

  2. # Blogger Broken Scar

    Writer's block frustrates me more than anything. haha. Incompetancy? how so?  

  3. # Blogger soraya barakbah

    blood . i get freaked out by blood. but my biggest fear :cockroaches!. just thinking about them makes me shudder.. i really dont know why im so afraid of them. i see one 50 metres away and my heart starts to beat super wildly. sigh  

  4. # Blogger su-ann

    Incompetancy in a sense of being unable to be independant, incapable of doing what I'm good at, morphing into an uber 'needy' person, etc. I'm sure you get my drift, right?  

  5. # Blogger dD.diyana

    i'm late for lunch.

    but let me tell you, the weirdest fear i have is
    to write a report whenever my boss tells me to.

    i dislike it.
    he tends to correct my grammar.


    p/s : oh but if ur asking about my girlish fear it would be Cicak & rats. anything that moves in a creepy & rapid way freaks the smack out of me.

    p/p/s: and if you're asking abt my relationship/love/life fear is losing my religion,karma & being fooled by anyone. i mean, i'm not dumb dude. but don't make me look stupid la kan? smack.


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    Loves Jesus. Singer. Guitarist. Songwriter. Audio Engineer. Producer. Wears band t-shirts. Wears red t-shirts. Based in Melbourne.



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